Design By Blake

Consider this a request old ladies who go to the gym, stop putting on perfume before working out. It’s fucking disgusting and it makes you smell worse than if you were working out. I have no issues with smelling a little body odor at the gym. I’m not saying I like it but it’s the gym, if you are doing it right you are going to sweat and sweat smells bad.

For some reason old woman feel the need to put on perfume before going to the gym. Not just a dab behind the ears either, it’s more like a bottle exploded so when they walk by the trail of perfume wafts behind them like a car with a bad exhaust. The noxious scent has actually been known to choke me as I’m trying to do some cardio. No matter how fast I go, there I am, stuck in the same place, getting nowhere fast with no chance of escape.

So please, please, please stop putting on perfume at all it isn’t necessary. If you feel that you might smell bad might I suggest a little deodorant or antiperspirant. There is nothing worse then smelling grandma walking by while I’m trying to work out.

I guess the question is begged to be asked, which is worse, an old lady smelling like perfume or some asshole who walks by and farts? Either way you got no where to go.

So as I sign off for the evening I say to you perfume wearing grannies and to you fart blasting assholes of the gym. Fuck you!

Due to some life changes I find myself back in the dating scene after too many years out of the game. A game which I wasn’t really that great at anyway. It isn’t Hungry Hungry Hippo, it isn’t Tri-Bond (great game by the way) it’s ladies and it’s life. Seeing that I am a man who works in the internet I thought maybe I should turn to the internet for a little help.

While I am currently not looking to date today I did decide to sign up to a few dating sites to see the talent if you will. That’s right I said see the talent, see what’s out there. I know it objectifies women and men if that is what you are looking for but online dating is like going to Amazon except that the products can choose not to get in your cart.

It’s a little creepy to have pictures of 12 women sent to your in-box because you may have a connection. In my case it must be a loose connection as seeing that I gave as little personal info as I could to create an account, I didn’t even upload a photo, like I said I’m not ready to date yet. It’s even creepier when some of the women sent to me are ex coworkers from my day as a waiter or the woman who held my job one person before me.

After checking out some of the profiles I have some advice for you ladies listen up.

• Don’t make your user name Crazy4Baby, tooSexy67, IWantMrRight or HotSlut2000.
• Don’t put pictures up with your friends if your friends are hotter than you. It doesn’t matter how hot you are they are hotter.
• Don’t put pictures up with your friends that are ugly. We all have ugly friends but we don’t need to see them.
• If you have a pet feel free to put up a photo of you and your pet. If you just put up a picture of your pet you are either crazy for a baby or just plain crazy.
• Don’t put up pictures of you with another guy. I don’t know that it is your gay cousin Steve because the way he is looking at your chest makes me think otherwise.
• Please don’t post pictures taken from a cell phone, they are small and crappy and yes we are judging you on your looks.
• Yes we know you love your family there is no need to mention it.

Well that about sums it up ladies. I’ll be seeing some of you in a few months from now and probably being rejected by some of you as well. I look forward to the crazy adventures that are sure to occur.

Today is a great day. Today the 44^th President of The United States of America took the oath of office. Today is a momentous day in history. Today the first African American became the President of The United States. Today is the day that Barack Hussein Obama took office.

There has been much hype that a black man, an African American is taking over the office of President. While this is a historic event in the history of the United States of America it should not over shadow what really happened today. Today a man that America believes in has taken office.

I didn’t vote for an African American President in November. In November I voted for a man that I believed could lead this country out of the darkness that we are in. In November I voted for a man I believed could help the economy, create jobs, end an illegal war and bring unity to America. In November I voted for Barack Obama, not a black man, but a man I believe in. Is Barack Obama black? Yes, but that should not over shadow the fact that he is a charismatic leader who brings hope to the nation.

My hope is that President Obama has the constitution needed to lead this country and uphold the Constitution of the United States of America. It is up to you and I, fellow citizens to help foster the change that President Obama represents. He is just a figure head, a catalyst of change of hope.

We the people have a long road ahead of us to rebuild the economy, strengthen our educational system; to get our citizens off of unemployment & welfare and into the workplace. Without the support and action of the American people President Obama’s term as President will be fruitless.

So my fellow citizens I implore you to take action to better your communities. I say pledge allegiance to your nation and commit acts of patriotism, make a difference. Nothing comes easy, we have a long road ahead of us but we can prevail, we must prevail to ensure

that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

— President Abraham Lincoln